When Its Raining

When Its Raining



When its raining in my heart

sometimes I forget to ask for an umbrella.

I stand in the pouring rain

silent

while the raindrops fall slowly

in a steady rhythm

I only find peace

by just listening.

Though I yearn for that shelter

inside

I just rather hide

behind my laughter,

behind my anger,

behind my sadness,

What does one do,

when the rain wont stop falling?

Lord knows I have been here so long,

I have forgotten to breathe.

If you catch me drifting in a daydream,

chances are Im listening to the rain

in my heart.



Richard J. Wright (2007)

When God Speaks...

In the life of a Christian, there are times when God speaks in your spirit, which is powerful in itself. However, when God shows Himself in a visible way through life it is amazing and profound. The picture above is that of a child whom is being operated on in his mother's womb. Science has found a way to operate on babies while they are in their mother's womb without hurting the mother or child. In this instance, the surgeon had an encounter with God, through Samuel the child's name by little Samuel reaching and taking a hold of the surgeon's finger. The surgeon froze for minutes could not operate but look at the child's fingers grasp his finger. I am convinced that God wanted us all to know that babies are important to him because they are His gifts and they feel and want to live. A staunch pro-choice person's argument for whatever reason would crumble. God has spoken. Are we listening?

Not Yet... Not Ever?

Mark 11:11-14, 19-21

And Jesus entered into Jerusalem and Jesus went into the temple: and when he had looked round about upon all things, and now the eventide was come, he went out unto Bethany, he was hungry: And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet. And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And His disciples heard it.

And when the even was come, he went out of the city. And in the morning, as they passed by, they saw the fig tree dried up from the roots. And Peter calling to remembrance saith unto him, Master, behold, the fig tree which thou cursedst is withered away.

Fruit. It is one of the most amazing foods God has blessed us with. We have such a variety, and all are good. Rarely will you encounter someone who thinks such and such fruit is not good to taste. All fruit is good. At least in my opinion. Here we have a situation where by Jesus Christ is cursing a fig tree. Why did he do it? Was He trying to teach them about the power of faith and the spoken word, absolutely. We discover that in the following 22nd and 23rd verses. However, in this context of what I am trying to convey, I want to show you another side to this scripture above. In the gospel of John, the 15th chapter you find Jesus teaching his disciples about relationship with God and the significance of being always connected to God. He says in the 15th chapter verse 2 that every branch in Him beareth fruit. God expects us to bear fruit if we abide in Him. In life, from a practical standpoint it really is the same in the sense that we grow and mature physically, emotionally, psychologically, we produce "fruit" which serves as signs of a person's growth and development. Christ inspects this particular fig tree which appears to have growth because of the leaves. Yet, when he takes a closer look there is no fruit to be seen. There is not even a bud. Now its important to realize that Christ at this point and time went to the fig with a purpose to fulfill his natural hunger. He took advantage of the situation to show his disciples not only the power of the spoken word in faith but that Christ expects a fig tree to produce figs. Since the usefulness was not available to Him at that point, He cursed the fig tree and said no man will eat of any fruit it may perhaps would produced later on. This tells me that no matter how many leaves (outside appearances) appear, its the fruit or the (heart) that Christ is concerned about. Could it be that in ministry as well in life we can outlive our usefulness if Christ sees our inability to produce fruit (signs that we are his)? Its something to think about. We must be more diligent in kingdom service and in our personal lives because we dont when Christ is going to come to us and look for some fruit to draw from. There is so much more to this but suffice in this forum to say that if we do not examine ourselves, we can face a greater and critical examination from Him who sits high and looks low. Think about what kind of fruit we are producing. Is it beneficial to Christ or self serving or worse non existent. May we always have good fruit to give to the Master.

Self Examination

It is in this season of time that a self examination must be undertaken. In order to produce change, one must honestly look at him or herself and determine the steps necessary to improve. I am at such a point in my life. Unless my thoughts tell me different, I will no longer for the rest of the year write in this blog. I am taking time to reflect, redirect, reposition, and reassess a number of ideas, thoughts and lifestyle. As a human being I want to be the best person in Christ I can be. If that means taking a hard look at my present status and doing what is necessary to improve, then so be it. Until then... God bless.

Companions, Conflict & Confusion

Can men and women be just friends? Just a question. Some can say that it is possible. In fact, I know it is. However, I can be hypocritical as well. I told someone close to me that generally speaking, men want sex not really friendship. Sure, you can befriend someone but how long does it take for a person to catch feelings in the process? This person I speak of, found herself spending a lot of time with this guy. The guy buys her kids things, things for her apartment, yada yada yada. Doesn't sound like a friend to me.Well sure enough dude expresses that he has caught feelings. It was funny because before she told me this, she asked if I was hoping that she would not ever meet anyone. She confessed that dude really did like her, she claims she told him that it was not like that with her and do not try to do that again, but you know how that goes. It will come up again. I have female friends who I admit I was at one time trying to sleep with. Hey, I was shallow like that. Yet, I have friends who have been in my life for over twenty plus years. One thing is for certain in those cases, you gotta put boundaries around the friendship and dont take yourself or them there because sex can and will spoil it. Its weird like that, something Scully and Mulder. You know that attraction is there but this 900 pound elephant in the room wont make any noise. Yet, you know its there. It can be confusing but healthy at the same time. Friends give you a support system that lovers perse can't. Yet it is human nature to go there just because. I have nothing against friendships with the opposite sex, I dont trust sometimes the people in them. Hey like I said its confusing, or maybe its just me.

Empty Spaces

You know there is something to be said about empty spaces. Many days we as humans spend our time trying to fill empty spaces. There are empty spaces in our homes, wallets, our hearts and even in our heads. LOL I sit here and wonder what it was like when God stepped out of time and space and looked at the vast emptiness and declared let their be light. Sometimes, my mind goes there if I let it. Its like looking at a blank piece of paper. I have many notebooks at home filled with stories and poetry, and they all start the same. Empty pieces of paper. I imagine that an artist looks at a blank canvas the same way. It is kind of exciting just staring at the empty space, knowing that I can control or navigate the illustration or documentation of it. Call it a weird source of power. Empty spaces are created to be filled. A wine glass may look elegant sitting in a cabinet but its doesn't serve its purpose by which it was created. When it is filled with wine, then it looks complete. At least by my two cent opinion. The point is, next time you start to see something that is percieve is empty, try to imagine it being filled. The truth of the matter is that what God made emptiness for, to be filled. The trouble is we often times fill those empty spaces with things that are just as empty. Talk about a paradox. His word tells us that blessed are they who hunger and thrist for righteousness for they shall be filled. That is the catch. How to be empty, then filled and satisfied. How many things have you filled your self with, only to be empty. Have you ever been satisfied, completely? If we all would be honest the truth is muddled in a quiet no. God is the only source that completely fills. Too often we allow other people's issues and "stuff" to cloud our minds to a point we become dissatisfied. Peace and contentment are tangible items that can be obtained but too often we miss the boat on those honorable gifts and exchange them for something more empty. Just a thought. I could be just rambling but for some reason these spaces needed to be filled. Understand?

Ah the Days of my Youth

I am a Houston Oiler fan. That is a declaration that I am proud of. I grew up watching the Houston Oilers win and break my heart every Sunday. From the Luv Ya Blue Earl Campbell days to the Run and Shoot with Warren Moon I was crazy about the Oilers. My dad and I would watch the Oilers screaming at the TV. Yeah we had it bad. I don't know why football was such a mainstay in our home. My dad was not an athlete but he is one of the most devout sports fans I have ever known. I did not know back then how much to appreciate sports in general until I became older. Sports was a way of getting away from the bills and the humdrum of everyday life. When I visit my parents on Sundays after church, I can find my father on the couch watching, the Texans, Cowboys, Rockets or who ever is playing on Sunday. I miss those simplistic days. No bills, no worries, just football and occasional homework. Ah the days of my Youth!

R.I.P. Pimp C

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071204/lf_nm_life/rapper_dc_2

Another famous rapper has made his transition. I share this because I was fan of their music for years. He was a funny guy, who spoke his mind no matter whether it offended anyone. Pimp C was a southern legend who had many different types of people in his circumference. He was friends with real pimps, rappers from all over the nation and even Christian rappers. Today many people talked about their experiences with him on the radio. Its a shame because he was only 33 years old. He was a father, husband and a talented artist who was proud to be from Port Arthur Texas. I cannot help but wonder did he really know the Lord Jesus Christ. Its times like these that make you reflect on your own mortality and eternal destiny. I pray that God's grace and mercy will be shown upon him.Its a sad day for many young people all over.

When Tragedy Takes The Stage

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/7499442

In the news of late, there has been a story developing from the shooting of a NFL player, Sean Taylor. The above link is from an article written by a writer out of Kansas City, named Jason Whitlock. This article has been a proverbial lightning rod since it hit the net. I have heard a couple of interviews with Whitlock on the radio. One of the interviews was conducted by a local morning show here in Houston. The morning show hosts were a bit upset and I guess they decided to take a run at Whitlock, who for the most part was not the least bit intimidate or stumped. In fact, the hosts for this morning show were the ones who were stumped. Whitlock introduced some food for thought and the hosts had to resort to making jokes as opposed to really debating the issue that they accused Whitlock of doing which was blaming hip hop for the murder of Sean Taylor. I recently discussed with a friend the idea or concept that we in the Black community "wink" at our selves in our questionable behavior. I cannot refute what Whitlock is saying, however I wonder what purpose does he serve ultimately. Will he get a nod from whites who generally believe the same thing or will he get a nod from upstanding citizens in our community who feel the same way. I cannot be mad at Whitlock for his takes on our plight in the community. I dont know if attacking rappers will save lives in the long run. Its a pickle indeed but it is what it is. Self assessment is necessary for all people but for one reason or another we don't like to call a spade a spade. Its unfortunate, prayfully some dialogue will begin to take place among our people because we need each other regardless of music tastes.

To Finish Something in Life

In life itself, there are many things that we start. We start school, we start jobs, and we start families for example. Yet, it is not guaranteed that we will finish any of those things. I used to scratch my head at why some schools have kindergarten graduation. Now, I understand. Its about climbing levels and finishing something you start. Just last night, I completed the course work required to recieve my Bachelor's degree. It was a sigh of relief, it was a time of happiness, it was also sad. The Lord has blessed me tremendously. I am so grateful to God for the people in my life who helped me along the way. I have many good and bad memories of school itself. I remember Brenda and Spring, two women who I worked with first in school on learning teams. I remember, Crystal, another woman who I became friends with over our debates about life, family and school. I remember Mr. Sandoval, one my earliest teachers who is no longer among the living. I remember so many people who have touched my life. Now today is a new day and I am just as excited and scared as I was that first day way back in 2003. Foolishly, I did not count the cost, when I started school. I knew that there were challenges but at the end of the day, I did not know how much I would have to pay, in time, in sacrifice and money. Yet, it was worth every frustrating moment. One night in particular at school, I remember sitting in my car, recently after my separation from my wife and crying. I wanted to give up. I wanted to quit. I wanted to run away, but God and school taught me the value of finishing what I started. I started many things in my life but failed to finish many of them. In the bible, Jesus tells us that importance of finishing. His last words on the cross are reported to have been "It is finished". The work that He came to do was completed. He no longer had to endure suffering and persecution in the process of completing the work His Heavenly Father had assigned Him to do. It will be well with us to complete the work we have been assigned to in life. There is no quitting. Quitters often languish in life. It is the one who endures that inherits and is blessed. "Blessed are they that endureth, for they shall inherit all things". My small accomplishment is great in the eyes of God, because it is what He ordained for my life. Now, the real work begins. I encourage one and all to endure. Struggle and strive. Last night, a word came to me. It was this. "You will never be good without striving for excellence". It has a double meaning. You will never receive a good grade (B), without striving for an (A). If I dont labor to recieve an A, at least, I will not recieve a B. Both A and B are the best grades one can recieve in school. Mediocrity and being average will never produce good or excellence. In order to finish something in life, you must ascribe to that principle.

Learning from my Mistakes

Divorce is one great big educator. At least for me that has been the case. It was really something else. After being divorced only 3 months ago I have slithered into the acceptance stage reluctantly. Yet, experience has been the greatest education anyone can recieve. The bible says in Ephesians that every man leave mother and father and cleave to his wife. Cleaving has been my problem. Ironically, I have tried to cleave too little too late. When one makes mistakes, all one can do is try to learn from them. If there is a next time for this ol guy then I will certainly cleave with all my heart. I have encouragement in that I can tell guys or girls that they can make it, despite how they feel. If I tell someone to leave, then I am only perpetuating a destructive cycle. If one knows how to put away selfishness then one can certainly save a marriage on the rocks. God loves marriage, its divorce that He hates. I too now hate divorce because I know what can happen when one goes through it. I know that with God all things are possible. Especially when you learn from your mistakes.

Paradigm Shifts

Romans 12:1-2
I beseech you therefore brethren by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.


In my life I am feeling the need to make a change. Changing is difficult but necessary in seasons of life. It began with my divorce and continued in my reading of T.D.Jakes new book Repositioning Yourself. According to a website, one should think about a paradigm shift "as a change from one way of thinking to another. It's a revolution, a transformation, a sort of metamorphosis. It just does not happen, but rather it is driven by agents of change" (Kuhn, 1962). These agents of change create an atmosphere where by it is not a matter of how but when. For myself, I feel a pull in my heart to put away "childish things" and mature to a higher level in God. God can and will set the stage of change. It is up to each of us to take on more of Him and less of ourselves. I honestly feel a need to shift. I cannot go on the same way.

Dear Sister

This is a piece that I posted at another website. I wanted to share it here because someone may enjoy it.


Dear sister,
Im trying to hear you,
from this masculine cage.
I would have text'd you or sent a page.
Instead I wrote this
from the well of my heart.
Its so sad to see your worlds apart.
Daughter of man,
yet hard to understand.
At least thats what they say.
Yet Im trying to hear you.
In the motherland,
they circumcise your clit
To take away your feelings
but they cant steal your heart
Even if they try to tear you apart.
Some in Asia are sold into slavery.
I still see your smile,
your the face of bravery.
A human with a vagina just aint safe.
In wars they rather rape,
than to heal you,
they take your babies and kill you.
For some its a thrill to,
shame and defame
your body,
but you bother nobody,
You was just born to be somebody.
Still sister Im trying to hear you
men hate you
'cuz really they fear you.
Its sad because you cannot tell no one,
but another woman
to understand where you coming from.
Im just one brother,
who's trying to hear your pain
Im just one brother,
trying to feel your pain.
While media depicts you
as a whore,
I see it in your eyes,
you are so much more.
Your my sweet honey in the rock,
my Tracy Chapman,
my Erika Badu,
my Mary J Blige
my Angie Stone.
I know.
I that I know.
That you
just wanted to be loved.
But the world gave you hate.
So this is that which makes you date.
Thugs, pimps, and weak men
who pretend to get you messy
but you cant name one friend.
Sister... Im trying to hear you,
through your tears,
through your fears,
through these years.
I just want you to know,
I hear.
I hear.
I hear.

Richard J Wright (2007)

The purpose of laughter

According to the bible, "a merry heart doeth good like a medicine". Proverbs 17:22
There was a movie back in the day starring Robin Williams called Patch Adams, about a doctor and his ability to help those around him that were sick with laughter. Sometimes, the one thing each of needs from time to time is laughter. I was sharing with a close friend once and actually with a classroom full of people a remedy for sadness or anger. On youtube, you can search for laughing babies and just watch babies laugh. It will make you laugh. I guarantee it. No matter what is going on, there is always room for laughter. When its time to mourn, one should mourn, but one is to never stay there too long. God wants us to enjoy our lives and find the humor of life's experiences. Also, laughter will relieve you of your stress levels. I am not a doctor but the Great Physician has declared that a merry heart will do good just like medicine. Take time to laugh, its fun and its cheap.

When Anger Visits

Sometimes anger can be an ally, other times its an enemy. The bible tells us to be angry but sin not. Yet, how often does that take place. People frustrate us, people abuse us, use us, all kinds of things. Yet, the bible tells us not to sin inspite of this. The key is not to get angry. Just avoid the emotion if possible. There is righteous anger, which the Lord Himself has. Yet, we too often get caught up in the situations we find ourselves in and sin. The Lord is incapable of sin. He became sin that he may condemn sin in the flesh. Thank you, Jesus. Yet, you and I have trouble with anger. The bible says that the Lord is slow to anger, we must be like that. Dont get caught up in that madness whatever it is. No matter what it is. We should be slow to anger. The bible tells us that a soft answer turn away wrath. This is best.

Keep It Simple

Life is complex. We spend the first few years desiring comfort as babies. The next few are spent trying to figure out this existence. The early adult years are spent looking for things to get into no matter how ridiculous some of it may be all for the sake of having "fun". We work and work and work and work. Perhaps we have children, get married, divorced, get married again, etc etc etc. Sometimes we are bored with our lives, not realizing the simple things are the best things. Learning for example should be simple. Life is complex because we shun the simplicity of life. We always want more. Money, cars, clothes, relationships, etc. Right about now, Im just trying to keep things simple. Like the old African warrior, Bud Johnson says in his articles, "I wonder if anyone knows where I'm coming from?"

I met this girl...

You know sometimes God gives you something you can refuse to give yourself. In my case, He sent a sister by. She is cool like some jazz and a hot plate of soul food. Yeah, I had better watch myself. I cant make this more than what it is. Its just nice to have someone to talk to. Straight cool like that.

R.I.P. Leroy

You know life is amazing. Sometimes you will see someone and not realize that its the last time you will see them. My auntie and her long time boyfriend came to my graduation. He just passed away yesterday, car crash. His last words to me was to pray for him and my auntie. They seemed tired.I could tell in his voice, he was just that, tired. So many things on his mind. I invited him to church, particularly Sunday School to hear me teach but he wasnt sure if they were going to make it. I knew that they had to get back home for work, but I didnt think it was going to be my last time seeing him. You just never know. I'm gonna miss him. He always had a smile for me. The scripture that comes to mind comes from the book of James in the bible. Life is but a vapor, it appears and vanishes.

Thoughts of the Day

Jena,La.
A small town with a big problem. Unless you have been under a rock then you know about the Jena 6. Six Black kids are being prosecuted and charged for beating a white student. Tensions have been high between Black and white and as a result, what we have here is small town justice coming down on just us. It's sad. So, what do you do when the odds are stacked? You call for a protest and bring every one able to come down to the town. This is a case where the punishment is not fitting the crime. Now its a wait and see game. If they (meaning the courts sentence these young men to 22 years in prison, its is going to be bananas. I hope they do the right thing, otherwise a whole lot of wrong will take place.

OJ OJ OJ OJ

Ah forget it. He doesn't get it. He is going to pretty soon.

The Residue of Divorce

The residue of divorce. I call it such because it forces you to do a number of admistrative things you wouldn't so much care to do. Those things like changing 401K beneficiaries, medical and dental benefits information and what not. Since my divorce was made final in August, Im just not getting around to the paperwork of my life changing event. It sucks but it is what it is. Strangely enough it doesn't force you to think about the person, that actually happens everyday surprisingly. Its just one of those things where you are like, "well if I die, do I really want this person to get more money?" LOL Seriously, divorce is no joke, it hurts, it causes pain unfathomable and it can be frustrating. It is what it is. More than ever I can understand why God says in Malachi that He hates divorce. It causes a lot of ugliness and makes innocents cry. I was fortunate my child did not suffer but it does set a horrible example of family life. How can we tell our children that marriage is important and great and turn around and run from it? I am guilty, God help my ex and I to be better people fit for marriage.

Texans Steamrolled Carolina

Well, The Texans are 2-0. Man that feels good. Carolina took a good beating.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/sports/5139203.html

Indy is next.

Celebration? Anyone?

Well,

I have lived to see my 40th birthday. Thank God. Tommorow I will be graduating with a bachelor's degree. Life is good. However, I must say that I am not all that happy. Life without my wife of seven years is kind of empty of sorts. I went to school, wrote those papers, did the work, only to wind up by myself. My ex has moved on emotionally. Yes, I still see her but she doesn't cut for me the same. I thought maybe she would have put something together for me, but no. She did give me a card, a card stating how good of a man I was. Yet, not good enough to take back. Its no secret that I am struggling without her fully in my life. Gone are those kisses, and loving, gone are those tight hugs. Strangely enough, I am putting off the inevitable which is fully moving on without her presence. Its hard. I do still love her. People keep telling me that I will find someone right for me. Yet, Its no encouragement based on the way I feel. I am happy for my parents who will see me walk across the stage. Something that probably should have taken place at least 10 to 15 years ago. My daddy who is a college graduate, will be able to say that his son is a college graduate as well. My daughter can say she saw daddy graduate from college. So I am thankful to God for that. Yet, for myself I am not as happy. It is what it is. Tonight I celebrated alone. A steak dinner which I cooked and watched an old movie called The Warriors. I am sadden at the events that have taken place in my life. Yet, God has been good to me. Yes He has. Hopefully, I will be able to enjoy tommorow. I just cant believe I am alone. God told me I would be and its not that I didnt believe Him, its just hard for me to take in some ways. I cant fault my ex for what has befallen me. It is my task and burden to bear. Perhaps someday I can look back and smile, knowing that God blessed me through all the pain; Self inflicted and other wise.

Culture Vs. Commitment

The culture we presently live in is hellish for lack a better word. The culture has a way of influencing one to do and participate in things that are not conducive to a honest to goodness relationship with God. I bring up the culture because on a website I recently visited they said that 70 percent of Black women are single. The family fabric in which Black people live in America has been torn to shreds literally. Black Women are more financially prosperous and devestated more than ever. The contridiction exists primarily because of the lack of Black men and their commitment to family. Divorce in America is over 50 percent. It is said that when White America has a cold, Black America has a pnemonia. So a majority of Black households are headed by a single parent. That parent more often times than not is a Black woman. Women are being deserted and have been forced to take a major role in the raising of Black children. The culture at large has promoted this through media channels. What happened? How has the culture changed the mindset of people? It is tougher to today to afford housing, food and neccessities. More and more people are opting to cohabitate which is a fancy word for shacking. Traditionally, Black people are a conservative socially. Our families are our community and that has been redefined because many Black men are cowards and fearful of commitment. Its easier to be a player and impregnant women than to marry them. Being a Black man I have experienced the ups and downs of cohabitation and marriage. Its demanding, its frustrating, and toxic if one is not of a sound mind. God's plan is for men and women to marry. Yet we see, homosexuals engaging in maritial covenants which is not something God ordained. The culture has moved into a realm of selfishness where people do not follow the commandments of the Lord but the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. Black men must return to a higher standard of living by committing fully to children they produce and Black women must support that vision that God Himself ordered. People try to live a secular lifestyle but God never called anyone of us to do so. We must return to God and honor His authority by pursuing His commitment to excellence. It is what it is.

Texans Did That!!

Well,

As your ingenious one predicted the Texans decapitated the Chiefs before a soldout our crowd at Reliant Stadium 20 to 3. Mario Williams finally had a big game which is good. Maybe we will now move on with our lives and forget the madness of passing Vince Young and Reggie Bush. The team played a great game. You cant ask for more than that. WAY TO GO TEXANS. Next up is Carolina.
Check out John McClain's blog, its hot.
http://blogs.chron.com/nfl/

When Its Dead... Its Dead

I have been struggling with the end of my seven year marriage to my wife for a long time now. I have cried. I have been angry. I have even been mad. I have had emotions run through me furiously. Now I am at the end of the whirlwind. I was thinking about the scriptures in 2 Samuel 12:1-23 which states:
1 The LORD sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, "There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, 3 but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.
4 "Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him."
5 David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, "As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die! 6 He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity."
7 Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man! This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8 I gave your master's house to you, and your master's wives into your arms. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. 9 Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 10 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.'
11 "This is what the LORD says: 'Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity upon you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. 12 You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.' "
13 Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD."
Nathan replied, "The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have made the enemies of the LORD show utter contempt, [a] the son born to you will die."
15 After Nathan had gone home, the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife had borne to David, and he became ill. 16 David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent the nights lying on the ground. 17 The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.
18 On the seventh day the child died. David's servants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, "While the child was still living, we spoke to David but he would not listen to us. How can we tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate."
19 David noticed that his servants were whispering among themselves and he realized the child was dead. "Is the child dead?" he asked.
"Yes," they replied, "he is dead."
20 Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.
21 His servants asked him, "Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!"
22 He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.' 23 But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me".

The child in my own life was my marriage. I made some critical errors in my marriage. I tried to get it back on track but it was too little too late. Now just like that dead child, I have to let it go. Now it is time to clean up. Go and worship. Set a table for my future. I don't want go about it alone but in this season in time it is best. Will I marry again? Only God knows. I am okay either way.

"Are U Ready For Some Football!!!!"

Well,
Its that time of the year. FOOTBALL. Okay, people say it with me this time with more feeling. FFFOOOTTTBBBAAALLLL!!!!!!!!
First victim is the Kansas City Chiefs. Already. Even though I will be at church, I am sure I will catch the second half of the game. I'm not a sport analyst but I do believe that we will hand the Chiefs their head on a platter. If I had to guess, I say we will win 24-17.

To conquer Goliath

"These are tough economic times, especially for African-Americans, for whom the unemployment rate is more than 10%. Alarmingly, rather than belt-tightening, the response has been to spend more. In many poor neighborhoods, one is likely to notice satellite dishes and expensive new cars" (Digital Digest, 2006).

Lets face reality, African Americans and I have a serious spending problem. One of the areas of challenge that my pastor laid out for me was in the area of finances. I have avoided this problem like a plague. Yet, in avoiding such problem, I have increased the problem itself. Now its time for some damage control and repair. I want a house. I realize that the probability of owning a house in my current state is in the area of "miracles". With out God its just not happening. That doesn't mean that I can't get it after all with God all things are possible. Yet, I know that God would really have me to put myself in a position to get those things in my life without a miracle. God does not always promote one until some leg work is done. I have a lot of leg work to do. I look into my closet and see shoes and clothes and "stuff" I dont need. Now its time clean it up and clean it out. How are your finances? Some people specialize in this area. I realize for me its a weakness. Now its time to get strong. I need to find my five stones so I can battle this Goliath in my life. What about you?

Unplugged

Today was labor day. I didn't do much out of the ordinary. Usually labor day is a time to fire up the pit, enjoy family and relax. Yet, I did not do much of that. Well, except for the relaxing. I cut off my cell phone today. I just did not want to really talk to anyone. I met with my pastor this morning. It was a good meeting. He challenged me in some areas that I have been struggling with. We talked a bit about my divorce and life afterwards, family issues and things like that. After that I went and washed some clothes. I need a washing machine and dryer. Afterwards, I was supposed to take my daughter to the movies but the rain kept us at home. I then laid down for a much needed nap. I then had to go to school tonight. My ex-wife called me at home but I was not home when she called. I still have not talked to her. As much as I miss her I thought it was about time that she missed me for a change. It was okay because I usually talk to her daily but I think its about time that we really leave each other alone to really get on our lives. I still want to be with her but I think that our dynamics and the relationship in its present state is preventing the both of us from really deciding what we both want. She talks about the "miracle" that we might get back together but its time to really see if that miracle is possible. Its not like I wont talk to her but I know that people do not miss their well until it runs dry. Today I decided to unplug from the world for a hot second. Tommorow brings a new day, so I will see what is up with that. I expect I will hear from her in the morning. I will answer if called and oblige accordingly. Sometimes you just need to get away so people will know your importance to them. She left a message complaining and asking why havent I called. She asked if I changed my number. Which I hadn't. I just simply cut of the phone. Communication is so important but the lack of communication sometimes is better.

How Im Feeling This Day

You know life is strange. In a few days, if the Lord says the same I will walk across the stage at Toyota Center a college graduate. Today, at church they made the announcement and asked that all who could attend to please do so. It felt good but I must confess its bitter sweet. I started school married and only by the nudging of my then wife. I put in the time and work for my family and yet, now I will do it alone. I explained to my ex-wife that I am happy but really more happy for my mother and father who should have seen this day at least fifteen years ago. I miss her. We are friends but thats no consolation to my heart. I also told her that if she was going to the graduation that she would have to make her way there because I was going to be with my family and the few friends if any that would show. She didn't really understand and I guess she thought about it. How would it look for me to drive my ex-wife to my graduation when she wanted the divorce. It would be uncomfortable for her. So much has happened to me since meeting my wife over seven years ago. Its hard being single. I sometimes feel so alone and it hurts through and through. I wish I could go back to the day I left and not did so. It was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. Yes, I was angry that my wife neglected me. Yes, I was upset that she did not care for me like she should have. I had some "valid" reasons I thought. Yet, now with the pressure of being a good person and trying to please everyone. My mother, my father, my pastor, my church, my school work, my job. Now I am alone in it all. My mom thinks I should celebrate and that I should be happy. Yet, she doesnt know how I feel. I am sad. Happy to graduate and even see another birthday but I am kind of sad. Its going to be a crazy mix of feelings come that day. In all I thank God for allowing me to see this day. Lord comfort and help my heart because its broken in loneliness. Tommorow I meet with my pastor. He wants to talk. I dont know about it. I just know Im emotionally spent in all im going through. I hope its good meeting.

Love for one Another

John 13:34-35 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved , that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

This scripture brings to mind a believer's responsibility to love. Loving people is not always easy but it is best. Christ gives us a litmus test that proves whether or not we are His disciples. We must have love for one another. The key point is being able to get that love to one another. It can be in a kind gesture, a favor, a blessing. These things are easy to do for those who have your affections. What about those who do not? Take the president for example, do you love him? Some would say yes and others would say no. Though I do not agree with most of the things the president of the United States says or does, I must have love for him as a disciple of Jesus the Christ. Though many of us will never meet the president, how can we have love for him? Prayer is one of the most important aspect of our Christian walk. The bible commands us to pray for our leaders. Most people cannot however pray for someone they despise or hate. Yet, Christ has laid it out for us. Give the love I have given to you to those around you, because this will speak as to whether or not you are listening and following God. Just something to think about. So the next time George Bush or any president for that matter says or does something you do not like, I highly suggest that you pray and not just despise the man.

Katrina Remembered

This day marks the 2nd anniversary of the hurricane Katrina that swept the gulf coast. The people of New Orleans and parts of Mississippi are continuing to rebuild despite the weak efforts of FEMA and the U.S. government.The Tom Joyner Show broadcasted this morning from New Orleans at a local charter school. One reoccuring question resounded. "Where is the money?" I have a few questions myself. Where is the accounting of the Clinton Bush relief fund? Where is the money that the Red Cross accumulated. Word is that the Red Cross took some of the money and have held it in reserve the "next one". Old Dubya was in town, and though I didn't hear his address, I can imagine it was ring around the rosey type speech. A co-worker of mine, from New Orleans just recently went back home. He was fortunate and blessed to be able to get his home rebuilt. However, many homes in the lower 9th ward continue to lay in ruins. People are paying rent in FEMA trailors and Im scratching my head behind that one. Oh lets not forget the cost of rent and real estate in New Orleans has tripled in price. Not only that, but New Orleans, as reported by Bishop D. Brister claims that now New Orleans is filled with Mexicans who came to work in New Orleans. The people who wanted to rebuild New Orleans however, could not get jobs. Its a crying shame. Of course also, the levees are still not up to hurricane catagory 5 winds. I applaud the people of New Orleans for their ability to survive and over come the tragedy that they experienced. Its crazy down there but God willing they will continue to perservere.

What in the Hell is going on with the Church?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20418259/

Okay, first it was Bishop Thomas Weeks and Juanita Bynum, now its Randy and Paula White. Okay, Randy did not put his hands on Paula but the two are getting a divorce. Something is going on the church. Some of the people with major platforms are now taking major hits. Now having gone through a divorce myself, I would not dare put myself as being better than anyone, but I will tell you, its hell getting a divorce. After all God hates divorce. I regret mine own, but now you have high profile people with a huge ministry going through this. Many people will leave and many will leave the church just because. Now things are going to be very interesting here on out. This scares me. Real Talk.

Dear Black Woman

This a poem I have written in tribute to those beautiful Black women. All of them. You are something special in my heart.

Dear Black Woman,
From before the time I emerged from the womb of a Black mother,I have always needed you.
You have been a puzzle to my mind,a piece to my heart,a friend to my soul,a nurturer to my body.I have always needed you.
Somewhere along the way called life,I forgot somethings along this crooked path.When I look at you,I see a reflection of my deeds,I see a reflection of my greed,I see a reflection of my needs.I have always needed you.
You gave me my first meal,You gave me my first kiss,You gave me my first hug,You gave me my first laugh.I have always needed you.
I remember the first gift I ever recieved,it was a cookie from a girl named Teresa in Lubbock, Texas nearly 35 years ago.Though I have met many Black women andshare my space, my time, and my bed,names I barely remember,but I always will remember her.You see I have always needed you.
Though my heart has been tainted,my deeds have been tainted,I have foolishly misused and abused the very one,who God gave me to love,I cry late into the night,fighting with myself to make things right,excuse me if I seem a bit skitzo,because I dont always understand you,I just know one thing I have always needed you.
For every sister who suffered from oppression,depression, posession, subjection, and infection,I weep for you.Black woman, I tire sometimes just trying to love you past your pain.Trying to provide a umbrella filled with holes to keep you from the rain,I am feeble and frustrated, fallen with shame.Calling you things other than your name.Oh God... I am dying inside from genocide,mentacide, and suicide all because of my pride...But I have always needed you.
I attempt to apologize but it seems so empty,I attempt to apologize but it seems so empty,I attempt to apologize but it seems so empty,Yet it is all I have left,I am sorry I am sorry I am sorryThere is nothing else in me but a longingfor your smile while walk past me,for your laughter while walk past me,for you hug while you walk past me,For you are my sister, my mother, my auntie,my grandmother, my lover, my friend.I have always needed you.I have always needed you.I have always needed you.I write this to you in hopes of being restored.I write this to you in hopes of being forgiven.I write this to you in hopes of being made whole.For I am nothing...without you.
Sincerely,One Black Man.
Richard J Wright (2007)

Mafia Style Hits Astros

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2993335

Well, Uncle Drayton, decided to put two hot slugs in his leadership today. Though the move is not unexpected, it is humorous given the Astros recent celebration of the retirement of #5's Jeff Bagwell. This season has been ridiculous and forgetful except for Craig Biggio's 3000th hit. Leave it up to Uncle Drayton to cap his general manager and baseball manager, the same day right after last night's celebration. Some people blame Drayton McClain as well for the Astros bottomless pit ride. Well, he certainly isn't going to fire himself. Duh. While the central division is the weakest division in baseball; one may take note that the World Series Champs, the St. Louis Cardinals is in the division. Isn't that ironic? Truth of the matter is the Biggio Bagwell regime is over and now we have a new interim manager and general manager at the helm. Cecil Cooper, a Black man is now the manager. I wont even go there, because given the Astros history of keeping brothers on staff is flaming retarded as well. But, that's another story. Tal Smith, another culprit in the Astros losing season fiasco will conduct general manager duties. Will the Astros keep the brother on for next season? I doubt it. I hope so, but like this season, Im simply confused. Stay tuned. Oh yeah, before somebody thinks Dusty Baker has a shot, I can hear Drayton locking and loading already.

Going green?

Okay. I am a tad bit upset right now. I get to school to find out they now charging us to use the copy machine. 10 cents per page. Now, to some of you thats not a big deal. Well when are paying enormous money for credit hours, you would think that would be apart of the tution. Not anymore. They have decided to go "green" what ever the hell that means. I guess the green stands for the green in our pocket. I can not stand those who fleece the sheep with no shame. The University of Phoenix in Houston should be ashamed of themselves. I'm irritated with the fact that this same copier last week was not even working. The resource center is real empty tonight, I wonder why.

she's so flyy: meme weekend- randomness

she's so flyy: meme weekend- randomness

Alright Muse,
i dont know if im doing this right or having any business doing it but here goes nothing...

Accent Yeah being from the south, I have a country accent, its not thick but I do have a drawl.

Drink Soda... orange juice... water... kool aid (tha purple kind) lol

chore I hate washing clothes

pets none (i love dogs, but they are a headache at times)

essential electronics my cellphone and computer

perfume My favorite now is Tommy Bahamas, but that David Beckham is nice, Prada is good, hella expensive...
far as sisters go... I do like J-Lo, and any thing out of victoria secret

gold or silver im old school gold all day

insomnia i am a nite creature

job title truck driver

most admired trait physical uh.. some sisters like my eyes, they say they are bedroom eyes... (i do use them to flirt) lol
personality i am comedian for the most part with a big heart for people in general

kids one daughter, Ashley i did have step children (3) but when their mother stepped, they did too. (lol)

religion (non denominational)

siblings one brother (thank God!)

time i wake up (5:45 am during week, 8:30 on weekends)

unusual talent/skill (i cant say that here)

vegetable I refuse to eat beets ugh

worst habit procrastination

my favorite meal bbq ribs with french fries

Texans Win

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/5084030.html

Well, the Texas did that. They looked sharp and looks like we are going to see more wins this season than years past. The running game looks real good. Now will we beat Indy in a meaningful game. Heh, lets not be delirious but Texans fan do have a good season to look forward to.

Relationship Residue

Relationships have a tendency of wanning after awhile. When a relationship ends, many things take place. Complacency, bitterness, anger, joy, etc. Often times a relationship dies only when those people in the relationship cease to embrace. People fall out all the time, but that does not mean the relationship dies. However, when the relationship does die; trouble can follow. One person may be trapped in time. Another may just move on without consent or thought of the other or others. In the church, people come and people go. Some just stop going because of sin, bitterness or straight up rebellion. In these instances we are to "restore such a one in the spirit of meekness". Too often, pride prevents this from happening. In marriage, when divorce takes place those people involved are angry and bitter. I had the distinct pleasure of attending a course ordered by the court when I took custody of my daughter. It was a course on "children and divorce". There were people there who were angry and people who were pleasant with one another who were getting a divorce. It was weird. I am in a situation with my ex-wife where we are "friends". Will be the best of friends? Probably over the span of time, not. Its really just residue. I dont know if we will ever reconcile. I am hopeful as far as God is concern but my ex isn't trying to hear that. So I let bygones be bygones. Its easy to slip into a "friends with benefits type mode" but in the long run, it will serve nothing but a waste of time. Sometimes its just best to let the residue dry up and move on from there. If you are in are relationship like this, its just best to let it die, so if God desires ressurrect it, He can without our mess being the catalyst. God will not share His glory with anyone. Therefore, if God will get the glory, its best to let Him work and let our work cease.

The goodness of change...

When things begin to change, there is nothing more to do except adjust with the climate. No matter what is going on in your life, there will be changes, modifications, upgrades, downgrades, transitions, evolution and periods of assessment. The whole idea is to keep your head through the processes of life itself. Somethings can be overwhelming, yet nothing can overtake you. Things can only overtake you when you let it. Its unfortunate sometimes how you try your best to be better only to receive the same results. The truth is that is a form of insanity. When you find yourself in those elements, its time to change. Life is wrapped up in seasons. We will all experience them; winter, spring, summer and fall. Spiritually and emotionally we will find ourselves there. Many people do not have the wearwithall to handle such changes, yet God has equipped each of us to do so. It takes courage to face each season. There will be dry seasons, seasons of death and life. Its a fact. You really find out a lot about yourself when you are under pressure. How do you adjust? Pressure has been known to take out people. Yet, those of us who are able to survive, can look back and encourage those who have been there. Life hits harder than any gun or bat. It is up to us to get back up and keep going. Ultimately, the obtaining of knowledge, wisdom, and understanding lies there. It has been said that experience is the best teacher. I concur. One can never get to wrapped up in where they are, because soon or later the climate will change. When those changes in the climate occur it is based upon the attitudes of those in the climate that will determine their ability to move from that climate or season to the next one. I like to use the analogy of the leather coat. A leather coat looks good and is nice to wear when its cold, but its not beneficial in the heat. Living in Houston, the heat can be oppresive but when the temperature dips into the high 50s you can see people wearing them as if they were in Chicago or something. When the temperature changes, the garments we wear change. Sometimes we can be stubborn and resist change. However, God is not impressed by our resistance. No matter how much you hate winter, winter is going to come, so get over it and dress accordingly

Something We all Need to Know

Psalm 121:1-4

I will lift up my eyes to the hills from whence comes my help?

My help comes from the Lord. Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber not sleep.

Its a beautiful thing to know that God is on the job. No matter what I am going through, God is always aware. He doesn't require sleep as we do. He knows exactly where we are and how He is going to bring us through our storms in life. I thought I would share this because it just a good thing to know. God is charge and in control! So do not worry yourself sick, God will always be God.

Juanita Bynum Weeks Assaulted

http://www.knowmoremedia.com/2007/08/juanita_bynum_assaulted_by_tho.html

Well,

Just when I thought I had heard it all, something surprises me. Prophetess Juanita Bynum Weeks was assaulted by her husband Bishop Weeks. The "Bishop" apparently lost his mind and beat his wife 4 o' clock in the morning at a hotel in Atlanta. What is going on? They had one of the most extravangant weddings ever produced, built a great marriage ministry, etc. The brother now has a warrant out for his arrest for felony assault. I feel so bad for the sister. She has had a tough life, endured many hardships, and now after supposedly finding her ideal mate, he turns out to be a batterer. Its a shame and it leaves you speechless. I know we are all human and we make mistakes. Yet, one has to wonder what happened. Fear is a monster. Lord help us. Pray for Prophetess Bynum Weeks and definitely pray for Bishop Weeks because he is going to go through something terrible.

So Much for That

Well, I finally got the nerve up to open the letter from my lawyer's office. It was the divorce decree. I was somewhat disturbed. Yeah, I already knew that I was divorce but legal documents have a way of making things "real". I was sad, angry, confused and disturbed nonetheless. Some will say that Its a brand new day, there are new opportunities yada yada yada. The problem is I wanted my wife back. I worked at it and acknowledged my faults but she still wanted the divorce. I never got married to get divorced and yet it happened. Oh well, even a broken clock is right twice a day. So much for that.

The Micheal Vick Tragedy

Unless someone has been under a rock, you have no doubtedly have heard the mishaps of Micheal Vick, Atlanta Falcons quarterback. Accused of being a ringleader in a dogfighting ring. Which has the dubious distinction of being a criminal enterprise. It is sad day to think that a millionaire, who is young, black and gifted; finds himself with so much down time that he decides to invest in training dogs to fight. The paperwork which can be viewed on www.thesmokinggun.com , details the devestating evidence that was leveled at Micheal Vick and some of his friends. The Feds who headed up the investigation have some incredulous information. Well, so much for friendship. Vick's pals began to throw him under the bus as soon as there was a sign of jail time on the horizon. Its unfortunate, because of the NFL's most talented quaterback now stands to spend at least a year and half in jail because he made a bonehead decision. Sportcenter will not be the same.

For Better or Worse

As I prepare to graduate next month, I sometimes think about my marriage. Initially, I wanted to be a blessing to my wife, her kids and my daughter. Now that I'm officially divorced (final papers came today in the mail). I do not have that opportunity. I went through a lot of emotions and setbacks during my time in school. I wonder what would have happened if I had decided to stay, instead of leaving. I felt I had no choice at the time. If I would have thought long and hard about my vows, maybe that would have sustained me. The portion which states "for better or worse" should have been my response instead I decided to protest. I had a conversation with my mother about it and she thinks I should be happy because she thinks my ex did not want to be married. The truth is, I am not happy about it. What is success if you cannot share it with those you love. My daughter, if the Lord says the same will be blessed yet, my ex and her kids will kind of be on the outside looking in. I tried to reconcile but I was unsuccessful. I can only imagine how I will feel when I go across the stage. It will be bitter sweet. I did this for her and our family. Yet, even now as I type this blog; there will be a sadness about it all. It is funny how things work out. I really know now what my vows means. Its just too bad that I found out too late. God forgive me.

The Fear of Fear Itself

You have heard the old saying, there is nothing to fear but fear itself. That is very true. Those of us who claim the old rugged cross, know that fear has no place in the life a believer. Yet, since we are people, fear is a challenge sometimes to over come. Some will say that they fear no man, but rest assured they all fear something. There are many kinds of fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of family perception. There are all kinds of things. The scriptures teach us that God did not give us a spirit of fear but of love and sound mind. Having a sound mind, means nothing can overtake us. 9/11 was interesting because people in America found out something about themselves. They were vulnerable and fear gripped their hearts. Churches all over were packed with confused and fearful people. Nowadays those same people have left the churches and gone back to the lives that they once held onto. Fear has a tendency to drive people away from their territories, their inheritances, their God given rights. Just look at the Patriot Act, a licence for the government to throw away the constitution. If you ask me, the people now really have something to fear. As for the born again, blood bought, fire baptised believer there is nothing to fear except fear itself.

The Trouble of weekends

You know sometimes the weekend is the worst time. Maybe if I had more than two days off I would be appreciative. In a few hours I gotta get up and go work. Thats a blessing in itself but I could use another day off. I would call in sick, but Im out of sick days. Plus I dont want to work if I do get sick. I dont know. Have you ever called in sick only to wish you was at work later on? I am probably the only human being who has ever felt that way. I have issues. Pray for me.

The so-called life of friendships

You know something has been missing from my life lately. Friendship. Being now divorced and dealing with a woman who wants to be friends is like the consolation prize. Hurray. Anyway, I do need to find some friends to be around. Its ridiculous how some of the friends I have are just too busy. I almost called a friend tonight and then I realized that 9 out 10 times she would be tired or working. You know how depressing it is to speak to someone who is always tired? Lord knows I love her but no one should work that much. We are talking about 15 to 20 hours overtime. Ridiculous. I have another friend who returns calls after about 72 hours. People are just too busy. The truth is people find time for those who are interested in the same things. If you know the person a is a happy hour type person, then meeting them at happy hour is not a problem. Its weird like that. I have been thinking of the friendship I lost about 7 years ago. I was friends with a guy for like twenty plus years and we fell out. I always said that friendships are like batteries, some just last longer than others.

When Starting Over is Scary

I have a confession. I am recently divorced. The thing about divorce is that sometimes based on your experience, it will leave you feeling like a loser. You start to wonder whether or not something is wrong with you. (actually this is true to an extent) The bummer is being able to get on your feet and get back into the relationship race. Now, honestly I am not looking forward to it. Of course if someone like a Halle Berry meets Jill Scott meets Juanita Bynum Weeks sister comes walking along hey... I am not mad at all. How practical is that? Not at all. Sometimes a person's excitement can get the best of them. You begin to think about the next girl and how will she look or be. You automatically compare her to your ex. Its human nature to do so. Then you have to get passed the skeletons, the drama and the whole nine yards to get to the real person. That is traumatic at times. Yet, you hope for the best. I can be shallow and retarded at times. What man isn't? Yet, we know that above all. We want peace. Now as far as the ex goes, depending on your breakup things can be well or worrisome. I dont want my ex to date. Hey shoot me. Im extremely loyal and jealous. I think any good man would be, unless he doesnt care who the person he once shared time and space is with. I was a bit angry at the whole thing but life happens and you move on. Fortunately for me, we are friends. Yet, I know that when her mister wonderful comes calling, the phone calls will stop. Its cool. Its divorce. It sucks. I dont care how bad some people make marriage out to be. It is the greatest thing God made for man. People are selfish and they are the ones that make marriage hell. Other than that, its cool. My ex approached me with the idea that we should be friends with benefits. I paused and laughed at that because thats what I thought marriage was. Anyhow, you live and learn. People are people and they make mistakes, miscues, missteps and everything. Starting over is not depressing but it can be scary. Maybe thats why it can be depressing. Lord Knows. I laughed with a friend when I told her that I guess I had better hit the supermarkets because Im told old to go into a club. Instead I will take it one day at a time. After all. Thats all any of us have, right?

Has the church out lived its usefulness?

I had an interesting conversation about the church on last night. A young lady informed me that she did not need the church. She stated that the church is for those people who need it. When I asked why she felt it wasn't neccessary, she said that people are actually being hurt by the church and people are even hating God because of it. It was disturbing by an honest answer from someone who felt that way. I informed her that God established the church. She wasn't moved by that fact. She knows scripture and she even declared that spiritually you can be in a place where you dont need to go and hear the word. It's a interesting thing to hear something like that. I feel its dangerous but I do believe that there is something to her mindset. If we are not careful, the enemy will utilize that kind of thinking into getting us to believe we dont need the church. There are a few doctrines today that have misled people into thinking like this. Its a dangerous thing. My pastor a few years ago told me that most people know enough bible to make them dangerous. That is a incredible but disturbing fact.

Has the church out lived its usefulness?

When did the main thing stop becoming the main thing?

In Christian circles, the idea of preaching the gospel has somewhat been relegated to only a few. Preachers who are on television are not talking about salvation. At least when I watch it. Evangelism is only discussed on specialized programming. See way of the master with Kirk Cameron. Why have many preachers left the story of the death, burial, & ressurection? Could it be its boring? Or could it be an agenda set forth to distract people from the truth of the gospel message. Yeah you know where Im going? Why have prosperity messages become the norm? I will begin to do some research and share my findings. I do not want to assume that no one is talking about gospel. However, something fishy isn't going on. (pun intended). Stay Tuned.