When Starting Over is Scary

I have a confession. I am recently divorced. The thing about divorce is that sometimes based on your experience, it will leave you feeling like a loser. You start to wonder whether or not something is wrong with you. (actually this is true to an extent) The bummer is being able to get on your feet and get back into the relationship race. Now, honestly I am not looking forward to it. Of course if someone like a Halle Berry meets Jill Scott meets Juanita Bynum Weeks sister comes walking along hey... I am not mad at all. How practical is that? Not at all. Sometimes a person's excitement can get the best of them. You begin to think about the next girl and how will she look or be. You automatically compare her to your ex. Its human nature to do so. Then you have to get passed the skeletons, the drama and the whole nine yards to get to the real person. That is traumatic at times. Yet, you hope for the best. I can be shallow and retarded at times. What man isn't? Yet, we know that above all. We want peace. Now as far as the ex goes, depending on your breakup things can be well or worrisome. I dont want my ex to date. Hey shoot me. Im extremely loyal and jealous. I think any good man would be, unless he doesnt care who the person he once shared time and space is with. I was a bit angry at the whole thing but life happens and you move on. Fortunately for me, we are friends. Yet, I know that when her mister wonderful comes calling, the phone calls will stop. Its cool. Its divorce. It sucks. I dont care how bad some people make marriage out to be. It is the greatest thing God made for man. People are selfish and they are the ones that make marriage hell. Other than that, its cool. My ex approached me with the idea that we should be friends with benefits. I paused and laughed at that because thats what I thought marriage was. Anyhow, you live and learn. People are people and they make mistakes, miscues, missteps and everything. Starting over is not depressing but it can be scary. Maybe thats why it can be depressing. Lord Knows. I laughed with a friend when I told her that I guess I had better hit the supermarkets because Im told old to go into a club. Instead I will take it one day at a time. After all. Thats all any of us have, right?